11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
