So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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