I hate all girls vehemently.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
