thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
