just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
