Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
