so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so let's talk penis.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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