thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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