I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
