trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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