Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
oh god the rape fog is back!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
