We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
