Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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