It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
