I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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