Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
