Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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