That's intense
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
