At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i barfeds in our rink
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
