Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
