My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
