I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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