wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
