i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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