Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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