this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize