I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
