i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
