I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
