Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
