part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
