What did we do last night that was yellow?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize