billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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