This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
