i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
