She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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