just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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