Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
