I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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