$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
