i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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