i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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