so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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