Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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