Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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