I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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