At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
