I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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