five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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