Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
