There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
