In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
