Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
