Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
