the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
