Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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