we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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