He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
