I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
