Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
