K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
