is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
